Late Night Thoughts

Nights like this I just want it to past faster.

I feel like I have been a follower for all my life. Giving in to what everyone says. Letting everyone influence my thoughts. And what I really think about something just disappears. Allowing everyone to pour their expectations on me.

Thinking about all these just makes hate school so badly. When was the last time i hate school so badly.

I want some real fun so badly with the people that I love. I need a get away! I need the long holidays to come faster. The last thing I need now is another day of school.

I just sound so typical. A teen that hates school. No point saying anything further.

Twitter is just so... OPEN! Don't see any point in tweeting anything personal. Don't see any point in tweeting anything personal! There's no need to let others see what I am actually thinking. Because they just probably won't understand!. So caught up in their individual life. All everyone have is objections. Don't see any point in this.

I'm just so negative right now.

Everyone is just giving faces! All emotionless. THEY ARE FKING FAKE! Can't you just say what you want to say?? This is really annoying.... The silence. The awkwardness. There will be one day that I'm just going to blow. And it can be really soon! JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FK I WENT WRONG! WHERE THE FK HAVE I ANGERED ALL OF YOU? IS IT MY FAULT?

Wrong step? Wrong love?

Since when do I have so little to say about myself. Since when did I decide to stop sharing and stop everyone from knowing what I'm up to?

Starting to become so distant from everyone everything. I feel like I'm looking touch with everything. Does love do this to you? Does it distant you from everything that you once have? Cause if it does... I doubt the power of love. How it's thought to be so magical.

I'm so deprived of some serious craziness and some fun like my life .haven't felt much from the start of 2013. Give some craziness that will send me away from this insane place. Let m laugh so hard that I forget about all expectations. All stares all judgements that is pouring in my directions.

So.. right... I'm in love. But... there's something that I want so much more. I feel confined. Especially when I'm distant with everything and everyone.

Drop me in a field full of green grass full of fresh air and just let me lie there. I need sometime alone. I need to think.
I have no idea what others are thinking. Am I the one in the wrong. Causing all this? Am I the one at fault for falling in love? Or is this all about wrong timing and wrong place.

Loosing touch with so many things let me doubt I I should love. Even though I love you so much that I can't bear to leave every single time the day comes to an end.

Everyone says you will be happy when I'm happy. But is it true happiness that you're talking about or are they just cynical? Just on the exterior?

Am I different in any way? Am I in the wrong love? That everyone disapproves of? Would it be different if we had met outside of this jail like school?

I just don't like this.

As usual a post full of typos.