Don't be so nice. 

You remind me so much of everything.

Things that I cant easily get over.

It makes me feel pathetic.

Makes me feel I have no one else.

And that everyone ran away.

And you're the only one left.

I don't want to be too close.

Because, I don't wish for awkwardness.

All, I want is just this.

Don't be too nice for me to ask for more.

There's a reason why I didn't say anything all along.

I DONT NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP ASKING ME TO START STUDYING! I STILL HAVE SHIT LOADS OF WORK TO DO! I KNOW I HAVE TO STUDY SOO PLEASE, I DONT NEED REMINDERS. STFU.

I know... I am going to regret this.

I just hope that I am wrong.

Goals.. Aims... Motivations?? NONE!

Everyone knows what they want, where they want to go. Their desire are just soo strong. Their passion to pursue what they want are just so overpowering. They strieve for what they want to achieve in their lives. But me, I strieve for none. I dont even have one  to start off with.
Right now, I want to be a teacher. Go to NIE after A's but... maybe kicking off with social science is better.... or maybe accountancy... I dont even know where I should be heading towards. I dont even know what to decide for myself... Pathetic me..

Only if I know what I want, that would be a really long term drive for myself. And setting for myself a higher expectation...
Or maybe if I know what I wanted I wouldnt have even entered JC in the first place.
Everyone is leaving.... Just hope that things will continue to remain the same as it was before...

Somethings are just too precious to be lost and if lost, things will just no longer be the same anymore.

A Night All Alone with Vanna!!((:

disappointments

You don't understand me that well afterall. 

Feeling so lost at the moment. If I was the one that could make a difference to everyone else and make everyone study hard. I guess our attitudes will change and be of good help to one another motivate each other along. Studying together.

You think?!

This week has been tough. Real tough. Plus, backed up with no support. No support from those who really mean sthg to me. At times like this, I wonder if I was being taken advantage of. Nothing is quite true to me right now though. I have no idea.

At one point, you seem real nice soo supportive in whatever I do. And at another point. You just blast at me for not putting enough effort and I am just a freaking dumb child. Well, I'm soory that your daughter is not born smart. There is just nothing you can do about it.
I just dont feel good whenever you put me down. It just feels pain horrible. I have no idea why am I here even. What's the point. when I know I am going to continue with such lousy grades and continue to listen to your insults, your bullshit? What's the point of staying. I just feel that you have to put a stop to your harshness. Its never going to work on me if you realise. Being disciplined is one thing. Placing your child down is just wrong! I just cant do this. I was never that good and that you have realised it long ago. Just accept the fact. I cant give you what you want! Because your daughter is just not that smart ass! GET REAL!

DUDES((:

HAHHAAH DUDES like US!!((:
Finally promos have ended!! Just damn scared of the results right now! Dont really have much confidence for it at all...
All I want is to just end this. And never want to be be replayed again!

Sometimes, things just cant be the same as it was. Even though promises are made and words are being spoken. They never really do work out! We used to say that we are going stick together no matter what! And this will be the way we are. And  maybe many years down the road we will be right somewhere, discussing about how our kids were doing... Sometimes I just feel that we have planned too far ahead that there nothing for us to keep us together. I just dont think you all understand what I am going through. And I just dont feel that you all actually bother about what I am going through either. You might say that you want to listen and that you really care... But do you actually mean it? I doubt you do actually. Sometimes I just really feel that all of you are hoes over bros right now...
And by the way, sometimes, I just really want to bring up somethings to you guys, and you all just got the wrong idea thinking that I am desperate... I am not alright... If this is going towards this direction, there is no need for me to have any expectations left of anyone anymore. Because I have already hoped enough, and again and again.... I was being let down as some kind of idiot that is still holding on to the past. But I guess me and you guys,... we are just going in the different directions right now...  There is no reason for me not to feel awkward with you all anymore.

Came to a conclusion that things are never the same anymore as before, and I just hope for the last time what I am thinking is wrong.