What's meant to be, has to be.

This is probably the last post I am going to have before the school reopens:

Through the moment I got back from hong kong. My life have been a disaster. Going in too many wrong directions and trying to change something that is impossible to be changed. And hurting those people who are not meant to be hurt just because I was being selfish.

Even though I love her. I try not to think about it and just enjoy every moment I spend with her. And hug her like its the last. Sometimes I miss her, I cant say anything about it Sometimes, I just simply smile at the photos that we took together. You know me so well. You know every moments that I want to forget. You are the one that has been there all along. Much treasured friend like always and being moved every single time too. If friends allow me to at least meet you once a week, I will definitely do that. Because I just want to be that sort of friends with you. Being a close friend is the best news for me right now. Because I love you very much as a friend and as being szejia at the same time. Because you exist, I am fine with everything.

Much credit given to her? ((:

As for James.
I have no idea how to start talking to him. Consoling seem too much for me to do right now.
I have no idea what I was doing. It just doesnt feel right. I really hope you know how I felt. Texting already is making me feel uncomfortable I have no idea how it will make me feel when we come face to face. Sometimes things cant be forced. You can say that I have little patience but through the few days that we gave it a try, I really thought through things alot. We are just not compatible. You dont know me for who I am and I just have too many things that you wont want to know. You dont know what sort of background I come from. All we do is talk about music talk about school. I like it that way. There are just some people that I just cant allow them to know. And you are one of them. That's why we can never have the things that you want. I really hope you get this. Im sure this is just one of the infatuation you have. And I really hope you can get over it as soon as possible. Because I still want a friend like you to watch movies and talk together like you know nothing just someone for me to whine to. You are important but not in the way you wanted me to be.
I have no idea how to say all these to you. Because you just want listen in. So I really wish you can get over it as soon as possible.I am just not worth your time and your mind spaces.

This is going to be a tough year. For me and for everyone things are going to get tough and lots of misunderstanding is going to happen,.
But just a note to myself: Through this being independent is very important. Everyone has their own goals and own ways of doing things. We set our own limits we dont base on others to set our limits we Know ourselves the best. We just have to stay strong stay positive. Friends help each other. And be there for each other. And most importantly, accept them for who they are. It doesnt matter if they are competitive or arrogant or wtv, just accept them.

Let this year be another unforgetable year despite all the exams. After its the process that matters the most,. And what's success without someone's support and praise.And being all alone.

Push all feelings aside. And get ready for the BIG fight!